Improving Imposter Syndrome.

Sometimes I feel like I’m on the show ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here’. But take out celebrity, replace it with Imposter (although I’m the leading lady of my own life) and add I’m an Imposter, Get me Out of Here! For as long as I can remember, my feelings of inadequacy and self doubt have always had a front row seat in most situations I’m in. Work, friendships, relationships and even my own self relationship. My fear of being caught is real and I’m always trying to mask it.

Over the years, I have tried a few things to cope. Feeling like an imposter has crippled a lot of my development and gets in the way of me getting on with living life. I’ve taken the opportunity to write a little about what it is, what it feels like, and things you might be able to do in order to minimize the feelings of self-doubt.

What the heck is Imposter Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome (IS) is a psychological state in which you believe you are less capable than others are. While this concept is most often attributed to intelligence and success, it connects perfectionism and the social environment. To put it another way, imposter syndrome is the sensation of feeling like a phony (🙋), as if you are about to be discovered as a fraud as if you don't belong where you are and were only there by chance. I feel this a lot, especially at work because I am recovering from comparing and overthinking everything.

There are a few types that you might identify as being close to you.

Types of Imposter syndrome

💁 Natural genius

They spent their lives taking up new abilities with little effort and assumed they should be able to grasp further information and processes immediately. When they have a difficult time, their assumption that competent individuals can manage everything quickly makes them feel like a fraud.

They may feel guilty and embarrassed if something does not come naturally or is not achieved on their first try.

🙇 The tenacious individualists (or soloists)

They believe that they should be able to take care of things independently. They think they are unworthy if they cannot attain success alone.

Asking for help or accepting help when it is offered is not the same as letting down your high standards. It also entails owning up to their shortcomings and admitting to being a failure.

👩‍💻 Perfectionists

This is the definition of I, Denise Chippindale. Perfectionists put a lot of emphasis on how they do things, to the point where they expect perfection from them in all areas of life. They will not reach these requirements because embodiment is not always feasible. They can condemn themselves for minor mistakes and feel guilty of their "failure" instead of praising the hard effort they put in after completing a task. If they fear they will not accomplish something perfectly the first time, they may avoid trying new things altogether.

👩‍🎤 Experts

They must understand everything they know about the subject before considering their jobs a success. They might wind up having to commit extra time to their core task since they spent so much time chasing their hunt for more information.

Because they believe they should know everything, they may feel like a phony or a failure if they cannot answer a question or learn something they did not know before

👨‍🚀 Superhuman

They associate competence with their capacity to achieve in every role they play, whether as a student, a friend, an employee, or a parent. Failure to meet the demands of these roles merely demonstrates their ineptitude in your mind.

To succeed, they must push themselves to the limit in every job, expending as much energy as possible.

Even putting out their best effort may not be enough to alleviate their thoughts of imposters.

Where does it originate?

A variety of factors causes imposter sentiments. Instead, various circumstances are likely to come together to drive them.

The following are some of the possible underlying causes:

Parenting and the setting in which children grow

If your parents:

• forced you to perform well in school

• compared you to your siblings

• were controlling or overprotective

• stressed your inherent intellect

• Harshly criticized mistakes, you can develop imposter sentiments.

Academic accomplishment in childhood may contribute to feelings of imposters later in life. Perhaps primary and high school never presented a significant obstacle. You picked things up quickly and gained a lot of praise from your teachers and parents.

Personality characteristics
Imposter feelings have been related to specific personality features, according to experts. Low self-efficacy, or confidence in your ability to manage your behavior and successfully fulfill your duties, is one of them.

What should you do about it?

Working harder to improve your performance may not help you transform your self-image if you feel like a fraud. I am still working on this daily to try help minimise the voice in my head. (Read more about Gertrude here)

These techniques can assist you in effectively resolving imposter feelings:

Recognize your emotions.

Why hello emotions. Identifying impostor feelings and bringing them to light can help you achieve several goals. Sharing your distress with a trustworthy friend or mentor will help you gain perspective on the situation. Sharing your imposter feelings can make you feel less alone. Telling your colleagues how you are feeling motivates others to do the same, letting you know you are not alone in feeling like an imposter.

I practice this or at least try to with my team at General Assembly. I’ve worked hard over the years to let my peers and teammates know that it is ok to feel these feelings but it’s controlling or handling the thoughts so you aren’t crippled by self-doubt and nerves.

Make connections

Please do not succumb to the temptation to accomplish everything yourself. Instead, form a mutual support network with classmates, academic peers, and coworkers. I love connecting with people on The Dots, The professional network for people who don't wear suits to work.

Keep in mind that you will not be able to accomplish everything independently. Your network can help you by providing guidance and support, validating your strengths, and encouraging your growth efforts. Post a question or engage with individuals. I often feel alone in these feelings, but when I connect with someone, it makes life a whole lot easier.

Confront your doubts

When you have imposter feelings, ask yourself if any facts support your ideas. After that, look for proof to refute them.

Let us say you are thinking of applying for a promotion but do not think you are qualified. Maybe you are still haunted by a minor blunder you made on a project a few months ago. Perhaps you believe that your employees compliment your job are mainly sympathetic to your plight.

Do not compare yourself with others.

Everyone has their own skillset. You are where you are now because someone saw your abilities and potential. You do not have to thrive at every piece of work you take on, but you also do not have to. Almost no one is capable of "doing it all." You may not know the whole story, even if it appears that someone has everything under control. It is OK to take a little time to pick up a new talent, even if someone else appears to have mastered it right away.

Stop repressing your emotions.

Do not try to make yourself feel like you do not belong. Instead, attempt to accept and lean into them. Only by acknowledging them can you begin to dismantle the basic assumptions holding you back.

Go easy on yourself and your loved ones.

My partner added that because I hold myself to a high standard, I tend to expect this from him and others. Sometimes rightfully so but remember to take it easy. Everyone is trying their best.

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So if you’re like me and you’re a recovering or soon to be recovering imposter, remember to take it easy on yourself.

Think about the thought and ask yourself, ‘Would my best friend think this of me?’ because the chances are nope and you’re really are a star.

Read about me here and take a look at some of the books I recommend.