Turning Failure into Success.
As Covid hit, my thoughts around failing started appearing more and more, living rent-free in my head.
Due to lockdown, I wasn’t going out apart from the novelty of going to buy groceries but failing at life seemed to be a huge theme each day. I started to ask myself “How can we all turn failures into little successes without time overthinking them”
I’ve explored a few things which I’ve tried to implement. My favourite, rereading ‘How to Fail’ by Elizabeth Day to get myself back in the game. This book could have me on the front cover because it was exactly me (but it wouldn’t sell as many copies). Elizabeth talks about what she’s learnt when things have gone wrong and shares lessons from the challenges in her own life and those of famous interviewees such as politician Gina Martin, screenwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge & singer Lily Allen.
“If I have learned one thing from this shockingly beautiful venture called life, it is this: failure has taught me lessons I would never otherwise have understood.” - Elizabeth Day
Failure is unavoidable in both life and business. We don't admit it often enough, but failure is necessary for our success. I personally try to avoid failing because the unknown that follows scares me. Failure makes us feel degraded as if we have done something wrong; we are naturally ashamed of it. If you look at failure as a resource rather than a source of shame, you'll notice that it's through loss that we learn to succeed.
Think about it. As a kid, you’re told to experiment. Play with paint on your hands, try out gymnastics, have a go at a new food. As kids, we’re surrounded by the risk of failing. It was exhilarating! As we grew older and the risks became greater, our thought processes became in tune with the idea of failing. Not studying at school, not practising enough piano, feeling like an outcast.
Over the last 2 years, I’ve really worked on equipping myself on being ok with failing. I’ve worked closely with my boss Julien Deslangles-Blanch to become comfortable with the unknown. Work has been the number 1 constant source of stress for me over the years but in the last 12 months, I’ve been practising being ok with switching off, sharing how I feel, and learning to be ok with just achieving rather than burning myself out overachieving.
Here are some of my ideas for turning failures into victories. Even if it’s just getting out of your PJs.
1. Recognise and correct your errors.
Don't be too hard on yourself, but don't ignore it either. Retrace the steps that led to your mistakes. Are you adequately prepared?
If you're having trouble locating the problem, get assistance. Friends, Academic Support, Peers (like me!), a therapist, or a trusted work friend can all assist you. At first, discussing your mistakes and worries may feel awkward or daunting, but it will be beneficial to highlight that things might not be so bad and that the biggest critic of yourself is you.
2. Take some time to relax.
If things don't work out, it's not the end of the world. Every failed attempt necessitates a moment of contemplation and acknowledgment of the mistakes made. Examine what you've learned, how it's influenced your life, and how it's assisting you in moving forward.
For example: When I didn’t hit a target at work or make the impact I thought I’d make, I would make myself work more. I’d not eat lunch because it wasn’t deserved. This took ages to rectify. I would push myself so hard that it made me become obsessive with metrics. Now, I step away. I physically need to take a break and do something else. This took a long time but now I feel all the better for it. It also helps set an example for my teammates around me that we don’t need to be ‘on’ 24/7
3. Continue to set objectives.
Failure is terrifying. If you let it run your life; it will usually slow down your activities and discourage you from taking on new challenges. What can you do to put a stop to it? Make your objectives more specific. Spend time and arrange your actions, and keep your eyes on the prize.
I love creating a list of potential goals and activities to attain them. However, be ready to adapt or change things along the road to better results.
“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” - Eloise Ristad
4. Make failure a motivator
Have you ever seen a child play sports?
When a kid swings at the ball and misses, something interesting happens. Rarely will the child let go of the bat? Most kids develop a furious expression in their eyes and keep trying until they hit the ball. They are using failure as fuel to keep going. That they can hit the ball is their goal (and everyone else's). Also, failure can inspire. You owe it to yourself to succeed.
5. Reframe a failure/mistake.
Examine your failures objectively as an experiment—no failure in research. Untangle your own identity from your projects makes it much easier to attempt again, learn from mistakes, and succeed next time.
Failure may become good with a bit of contemplation, a proper perspective, and a healthy dose of curiosity.
Use your failures to grow.
6. Don't lose confidence
The dread of failing is absolute. That's normal. Remember that confidence is your greatest daily asset and can increase mental wellness. Remind yourself of your strengths and flaws. Every human being falls from time to time. But you can still get up and run a marathon. Regaining confidence after a sad defeat is a bold deed. Then you can do anything.
Sometimes failure leaves you stuck in old patterns, and you need support to break them. Find someone to lean on for aid. It might be a companion, a mentor, or anyone who has been through what you are going through and can help you. Ultimately, failure is an opportunity to do better.
